The 4 keys that can help you unlock a healthier self image

Author Nathaniel Branden in his book The Six Pillars of Self Esteem asserts that self-esteem relies on several practices; one being to live purposefully.

The leading world religions and secular practitioners agree that it is important to know your life purpose. Clearly it’s important to discover what you are cut out to do in life.

• Identify your talents and abilities

Every human being is born into this life with his or her own unique, natural talents. They are at the very core of who we are. It doesn’t matter if you’re born into a normal or dysfunctional family. You never lose your talents, although you may lose sight of them as a result of human conditioning. Abilities are acquired later, through practice and learning.

1. Write down things you like to do, things that give you pleasure, things you get complimented on, things you do even if not told to by others. What would you be if you could be anything in the world? Draw up a list. Only list activities that make you feel good. Don’t worry about how well you do them, just isolate the feelings here. Some examples: drawing, building things, music, baseball, reading, etc.

2. Now look at your list and tick items where you show talent - things that come naturally whether you had any instruction or not.

3. Narrow the list down to your two most enjoyable talents by listing the two subjects you enjoyed most in school. (Listing the subjects you enjoyed least in school is also helpful as these are the furthest removed from your natural talents.) Can you recall times when you have been so engrossed in something that you didn’t realize time had passed? This is called getting “in flow.” It’s a sign you’re doing what you love to do.

• Get in touch with the special qualities you possess

Here are some suggestions:

• Serving others (in a general sense)
• Teaching
• Encouraging
• Generosity
• Leadership
• Showing mercy and compassion
• Hospitality
• Wisdom
• Knowledge

• Start to put your talents, abilities and special qualities to use

It’s fine to start small, but aim high. Strive to improve. Stay focused.

Remember that practice makes perfect. Even the most talented people only achieve mastery or greatness when they remain committed to their craft or calling.

• Reject society’s mirror, embrace who you are

It’s only when we look into society’s mirror that we may find ourselves falling short. Shift your focus. Accept that YOU have value because you are special in your own right.

Let others name the limits of your capabilities.
For your own part, refuse to consider limits . . . . Marie Dressler

Refuse to dwell on your shortcomings. Whenever your mind tries to tell you what you are not - in comparison to another person - immediately turn your attention onto one of the strengths you know you possess.

Erase any negative tapes you play to yourself. Replace them with affirmations.

Become aware of and thankful for your uniqueness.

Ultimately, knowing who you are and working with what you do have – as opposed to bemoaning what you don’t – are the keys to unlocking a healthier self image.

As you start allowing your good points to take on more importance than your weaknesses you will develop a healthier self image and as a result you WILL flourish.